Self-love! Loving yourself first feels so good.
I grew up thinking I must be liked by people in order to be happy. Clearly a terrible thought. It was only appropiate if I was aiming for selfdestruction. It took me years to discover the dirty lie that this though represented. I'm 37, and sometimes I still struggle with this misconception.
In my teen years, I was never a popular girl. I wasn't the cutest chick at school and definitely wasn't the hottest at the University. I was one of the smartest girls, the nerd club member, the know-it-all, and of course, that didn't make me the most desired female by then. Not that it bothered me a lot, but yet I always tried/wanted to be liked by everybody.
At that young age I was clear that I wanted to be a smart and powerful woman. But how to achieve those things... How to focus all my energy into it... that was the hardest thing to discover. As a secret well hidden, my own truth was there... I could almost taste it... but it was still missing. How frustrating, right?
I wasn't a chic girl. Never would have been. I dressed like taken from a previous decade, never wore brands because my family couldn't afford it, (the only brand thing I had was a BONGO jeans), my makeup was extremely cheap- like Dollar Tree cheap. My hair was hideous! I wasn't meant to fit in. By then, the idea of not fitting anywhere was disturbing. For a teenager it's very frustrating to be so different from their peers. And it sucked!
It took me a lifetime to see my mistake. I wasn't someone who really needed to be liked by the world. I wasn't someone lacking attention from the people around. It was just that the "attention" other girls my age were looking for wasn't exactly what I was desperately in need of. Inside, I felt like an emptiness took control of me. I was brilliant, friendly, a most likely to succeed kinda student, yet I still felt empty.
For years, I was looking for something bigger. A higher purpose. But even in my adulthood I was looking for it in all the wrong places. Looking for something to fill that void was an impossible thing to do, as I was looking for it exactly where other people my age, with completely different interests, were looking.
Then, one day, I started to analyze myself. To my surprise, I was in desperate need of myself. How I didn't realize it before? How had I been able to neglect myself?
That day I finally understood I was searching for me, I was attempting to love myself without realizing it. I didn't want to be liked. I didn't need people's acceptance to be happy. I needed to accept myself. My gifts, my flaws... all those things make me the powerful person I am today. I just needed to embrace it. I just needed to hold myself and put me on that pedestal I once thought too high.
When that moment came, the world around me crumbled a little, but my own world -the one that was only mine to enjoy- started to exist. I became stronger the day I started loving me for what I was... the most important person in my life.
As I started appreciating my many good things, a lot started to change. My self-love was like a giant magnet everywhere. People were drawn to me- and I don't mean the intimate side, but in life. I was a magnet for great people who also loved themselves.
I had to experience all those things to learn that to be loved, liked, respected and attract people with goals and a wish for a future, I needed to love myself.
Yes, I had to learn a lot. To protect me from people who just meant mean things. To live fully in a world full of people who hadn't learned to love themselves yet. I learned to never settle for less than what I deserve. I forced myself to start questioning things. To always expect an answer. To always expect the truth. I am deserving of it.
To love me, I had to prove myself I was worthy of it all. I challenged myself to many things and pushed me harder. I make myself a priority. I had to stop making excuses and putting others before me. I began taking care of myself. I began molding my body and my soul to become what I always dreamed to be.
Everyday, I try to prove I'm worthy of the special persons in my life and I expect exactly the same in return. I know I'm strong. I'm powerful. I know I'm worthy! I started embracing my flaws, working with them to make myself a better me -for me- everyday.
And today I can say I love every piece of me. All the stages of my life. I was never a caterpillar turned into a butterfly all of a sudden. I am a freakin' unicorn! Yes, I exist! But I'm very rare, baby!
You're strong. As the most solid of mountains.
You're beautiful. Accept it and embrace yourself.
You don't need acceptance from the world. Is the world that needs a little of your grandeur.
There's no one coming to rescue you- you must know that. But fear not, you're ready to be your own knight with shiny diamond armor.
Woman, you're a queen among princesses. You yield power, strength. Be that bossy lady others hate so much!
Your smile is your sword... Your gaze is your shield. Use them accordingly.
In the middle of a men's world, you're a warrior. Fight with all you have.
Never allow anyone to use you like a toy. In return, teach them how good you know the games!
Show people you mean business when they want to mess around your success.
They will talk behind your back. It's okay. Knowing that they are right behind- where they can see your nice ass- makes the journey even more satisfying.
Stop trying so hard to be liked. Feel the confidence of being at your best moment.
Don't settle for less than what you know you deserve. Aim higher. A deserving person will try harder to meet you at the top.
Don't quit on yourself. You're your best support.
Lots of love,