• N.I. Rojas/ Empowered Curvy

What your Mamma didn’t tell: But you wish she would have.

And I try to tell my kids about...

Rising children that are both affectionate and respectful can be an enormous challenge. And honestly, is very hard to know what our kids expect from us sometimes. The most we try, the farther we get from them. Without really wanting it.

It doesn't have to be that way. Maybe, is not so difficult. Our kids want exactly what we wanted while we were growing: love, honesty and unconditional support.

Parents use to warn us about things like: guys are all looking just for sex, or a lot of ladies will seduce you to get your paycheck. You have to focus in studying. Real men don’t look a woman for how she looks, but only for how she thinks. Don't eat watermelon seeds or a plant will grow in your belly button.

I know most of you are laughing right now. But is the very truth. Real men and real women go searching for love every day, and I’m totally convinced that love is a matter of liking the looks and the brains. That’s the real thing.

You know what’s curious? My son reads my posts. He follows my pages. I know what he wants. He wants us to trust him. To understand he's trying to be a responsible young man. But also, I know he expects the truth. If I, that am his mother, cannot be truthful to him, he wouldn't know what to expect from everybody else.

He’s 15. Yes, I talk about sex. A lot. Isn’t that weird? Maybe it would be. Not for me. I know how healthy is to teach our kids how to have healthy relationships for themselves. To help them grow their self-esteem. To understand the world before they are forced to collide with situations they aren’t prepared for.

I talk sex. But is sex for couples. For adults. Responsible sex. That’s something I’ve been very clear to him. Crystal clear. I have told him the good, the bad. The benefits and consequences. I’ve been very serious with him about all the consequences sex will bring at his age. The pleasure will be very little compared to losing his bright future, having to support a family economically. I have also told him sex will be great once he finds his person. Meanwhile, he can learn how to respect women, what to do when he finds that special girl, how to approach her, and understand and respect his and her body.

I’m not worried to know my son reads my posts. He knows his mom has a very healthy and happy relationship, and that’s what I want him and his sister to achieve in the future.

While we think about that, let's see some things most of us wish our mamma had told us. But she didn't. Because us Mammas are sometimes way too dramatic! I'm talking by experience here!

  1. People lie. Understand this. Respect yourself. Walk away. Since we are little, our parents (for example) asks us to lie about their whereabouts when someone calls them, but when kids use lie to defend themselves, they get spanked or penalized. No tv for you! 

  2. She really wanted the piece of cake that you just ate by yourself. (She how she lie! White lie, but still...) Moms never tell their kids that little piece of heaven hidden in the back of the fridge was meant to be devoured by her when they were finally in bed. Instead, she let you eat it all. And suffer in silence for it. (What? She wants candy sometimes! And cake and ice cream too!)

  3. Keeping the house tidy is tedious and it sucks. But needs to be done. Moms will just say it needs to be done, just because. Truth is that a beautiful, aromatized house is the best thing to have. Probably, our moms would have tried to show us the disadvantages of a dirty home to convince us, instead of saying just because. Roach, anyone? That would have work wonders!

  4. Bad love hurts. Good love hurts sometimes as well. -Moms tend to tell us to better not fall in love. To focus on getting a career. When the butterflies start fluttering inside, you’ll wonder why your own mamma didn’t avoid to fall in love. You know, live by her own advice... But if she hadn’t fall in love, you wouldn’t be here. So, chain reaction! Better keep wondering why she advises against falling in love? You'll find out that answer eventually, and she didn't tell you that either.

  5. Is okay to have failures in life. Instead, mammas will say “I told you so!” Such consolation! 

  6. The first love is almost never the one. Nope. Never heard someone saying this, excepting for myself. Reality is, that first crush is just an illusion. Just like falling for the Backstreet Boys when teenagers. But, who didn’t? But instead of Jowie D, the high school pretty bot. That, my mamma didn’t tell me either.

  7. Who is the fuck*r? And how bad you want me to hurt him? We always expect to have our mammas to support us when things go bad, when the life starts crumbling down. Many times, mamma will just say “I told you so.” Yes, again.

  8. No, probably you won’t be a billionaire. But you can still try and prove me wrong. It would have been great to know we would never make any money imitating Selena’s songs with the broom in the living room. But again, who would have swept the floor, if it wasn’t you singing your lungs out?

  9. Nothing really bad happens when you don’t eat arroz y habichuelas. In fact, eating less carbs is better for your health. But your mamma will never accept it. Plus, rice and beans are cheaper to buy than salads, nice veggies and lean meats, like spaghetti squash. #growingupwithlatinamoms 

  10. Your body is beautiful. Probably, there are moms out there who helped their daughters to look their best and get the most of their dominant features. But I haven't seen one. I’ve seen mammas who cover their daughters with oversized clothes, condemning the girl for growing a body that was given by nature. 

  11. The right guy will love your body and soul. Because to get to know you, he must approach you, like you. And why is that? Because he likes what he sees, he comes closer. We are always beautiful for someone special. Body isn’t everything, but that thing of “love at first sight” means something, right?

  12. Don’t let anyone downplay your opinions. Excepting when elder people talk. Or is religion or politics. Then, you better keep your mouth shut. Thanks mammas. I wish mammas tell their kids about people who will try to silence them, to break their voice, their spirit. But even better, how to fight those bullies back.

  13. Don’t be afraid to leave if something isn’t working for youWhether is from a profession or a life partner, you should not stay where you are not happy, and the efforts to be happy are non-existent. But many mammas will try to put the blame on you and try and punish you for it for a lifetime.

  14. Don’t work for your dreams is evil. Mammas tell us about been lazy because we don’t help cleaning the house, but sometimes moms tell their kids to settle just for a part-time job, because the world of work is too competitive. Even worse, because earning enough money is just pride and arrogance, thus “condemnation”.

  15. Is okay to seek for help. Sometimes when things go all kinds of wrong, we need the intervention of someone else. Visiting a therapist isn’t for crazy people. Is for people with situations that are difficult to handle.

  16. Sex is good. Responsibly done with the right person. As mamma doesn’t want us to end pregnant at 15, she prefers to portrait sex as an evil thing which only consequences will be a pregnancy or an STD.

  17. The world doesn't solely belong to men. The world belongs to people. In general. A certain gender shouldn’t equal power. And no men should treat you like his inferior. If so, then apply again #7.

  18. The world doesn't revolve around you. Last time we checked; planet Earth revolved around the sun. So calm down and let others live and don't try and ruin your siblings life, or be the never satisfied attention seeker.

  19. I was a shitty mom. Is okay, really. Moms sometimes think the worst of ourselves. But you know what? Moms do the best they can, with the little they received while growing up. We punish ourselves for not been perfect, and is fine. Because nobody is perfect. Nobody was there telling her all these things she probably wanted to listen to. Besides, she cared for you. Maybe her way wasn’t the best way. But she always had the choice to abandon you under a bridge (I’m so dramatic!) and she chose to do her best for you.

  20. Don't smile if you don’t feel like it. Mammas should show kids how not to be fake. If you suffer, is fine. Soon you’ll be okay. The world has to be okay with it. If you are hurt or suffering for an act of injustice, defend your beliefs above all things. Tomorrow your smile will return. When is sincere.

  21. Do something for yourself. That be by saving money, giving yourself a little something, pampering you every once in a while, writing your personal journal, working out, learning new things. Mammas should always encourage their kids to dream big and work hard for those dreams.

What you wish your Mamma had told you? Share it with us!

Love, Nydia

Empowered Curvy


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