Raising children that are both affectionate and respectful can be an enormous challenge. And honestly, is very hard to know what our kids expect from us sometimes. The more we try, the distant we get from them.
It doesn't have to be that way. Maybe, is not so difficult. Our kids want exactly the same we wanted while we were growing: love, honesty and unconditional support.
Parents use to warn us about things like "guys are looking just for sex. Ladies will seduce you to get your paycheck. You have to focus on studying. Real men don’t love a woman for how she looks, but only for how she thinks. Don't swallow watermelon seeds or a plant will grow in your belly button (or worse)".
I know most of you are laughing right now. But it's the truth. Let's see some things most of us wish our mamma had told us... but she didn't. Because us Mammas are sometimes way too dramatic! I'm talking by experience here!
I am guilty of some of these too!
21 things you wish your mamma had said... but she didn't.
People lie. Understand this. Respect yourself. Walk away. Since we are little, our parents ask us to lie about their whereabouts when someone calls them, but when we used lies to defend ourselves, we were spanked or penalized.
She really wanted the piece of cake that you just ate without sharing with her. (See how she lied! A white lie, but still...) Moms never tell their kids that the little piece of heaven hidden in the back of the fridge was meant to be devoured by her when you were finally in bed. Instead, she let you eat it all. And suffer in silence for it. (Guilty here!)
Keeping the house tidy is tedious and it sucks. But it needs to be done. Moms will just say it needs to be done, just because. A beautiful, aromatized house is the best thing to have. Probably, our moms would have succeeded by showing us the disadvantages of a dirty home to convince us, instead of saying just because. Roach, anyone? That would have work wonders!
Bad love hurts. Good love hurts sometimes as well. -Moms tend to tell us: "better don't fall in love". Focus on getting a career. When the butterflies start fluttering inside, you’ll wonder why your own mamma didn’t avoid falling in love. You know, to live by her own advice... But if she hadn’t fallen in love, you wouldn’t be here.
Is okay to have failures in life. Instead, mammas will say “I told you so!” Such consolation!
The first love is almost never the one. Nope. Never heard someone saying this, except for myself. Reality is, that first crush is just an illusion. Just like falling for the Backstreet Boys when teenagers. But, who didn’t? But instead of Jowie D, it was the high school's pretty boy. That, my mamma didn’t tell either.
Who is the fuck*r? And how bad you want me to hurt him? We always expect to have our mammas to support us when things go bad, when life starts crumbling down. Many times, mamma will just say “I told you so.” Yes, again.
No, probably you won’t be a billionaire. But you can still try and prove me wrong. It would have been great to know we would never make any money imitating Selena’s songs with the broom in the living room. But again, who would have swept the floor, if it wasn’t you singing your lungs out?
Nothing really bad happens when you don’t eat Arroz y habichuelas. In fact, eating fewer carbs is better for your health. But your mamma will never accept it. Plus, rice and beans are cheaper than salads, nice veggies and lean meats, like spaghetti squash. #growingupwithlatinamoms
Your body is beautiful. Probably, there are moms out there who helped their daughters to look their best and get the most out of their dominant features. But... I’ve seen mammas who cover their daughters with oversized clothes, condemning the girl for growing a body that was given by nature. No way you'll be able to hide that nice ass forever!
The right guy will love your body and soul. Because to get to know you, he must approach you, like you. The body isn’t everything, but that thing of “love at first sight” means something, right? The good heart, the big brains? That's also a must!
Don’t let anyone downplay your opinions. Except when elder people talk. Or if it's religion or politics. Then, you better keep your mouth shut. Thanks, mammas. I wish mammas tell their kids about people who will try to silence them, to break their voice, their spirit. But even better, how to fight those bullies back.
Don’t be afraid to leave if something isn’t working for you. Whether is from a job or a life partner, you should not stay where you are not happy. But many mammas will try to put the blame on you and try and punish you for it for a lifetime.
Don’t work for your dreams is evil. Mammas tell us about being lazy because we don’t help cleaning her house. Sometimes moms tell their kids to settle just for a part-time job because the world of work is so competitive. Even worse, because earning enough money is just pride and arrogance, thus “condemnation”. Moms should encourage you to grow and leave the nest, not the other way around.
Is okay to seek help. Sometimes when things go all kinds of wrong, we need the intervention of someone else. Visiting a therapist isn’t for crazy people. Is for people with situations that are difficult to handle. Probably, your mom was that crazy lady who told you "You need a shrink? No way!"
Sex is good. Responsibly done with the right person. As mamma doesn’t want us to end pregnant at 15, she prefers to portrait sex as an evil thing whose only consequences will be a pregnancy or an STD.
The world doesn't solely belong to men. The world belongs to people. In general. A certain gender shouldn’t equal power. And no man should treat you like his inferior. We can run the world together. Mammas should teach their girls to speak up, to say what they think, to defend what they believe.
The world doesn't revolve around you. Last time we checked; planet Earth revolved around the sun. So calm down and let others live and don't try and ruin your siblings' life, or be the never satisfied attention seeker. Your life is important, but so is everybody else's.
I was a shitty mom. Is okay, really. Moms sometimes think the worst of themselves. But you know what? Moms do the best they can, with the little they received while growing up. We punish ourselves for not being perfect and it's fine. Because nobody is perfect. Nobody was there telling her all these things she probably wanted to listen to. Maybe her way wasn’t the best. But she always loved and cared for you.
Don't smile if you don’t feel like it. Mammas should teach their kids how not to be fake. If you suffer, is fine. Soon you’ll be okay. The world has to be okay with it. If you are hurting or suffering, it is okay. You'll survive. Suffer it. Sweat it. Let it go. Tomorrow your smile will return. When you feel like it.
Do something for yourself. Save money, give yourself a little something, pamper yourself every once in a while, write your personal journal, work out, learn new things. Mammas should always encourage their kids to dream big and work hard for those dreams.
What do you wish your Mamma had told you? Share it with us!
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Lots of love,