She's not a damsel in distress anymore. This woman will not believe in every single word. She'll make you work for her respect and her love because now she truly knows her worth.
When you decide to fall in love with a divorced woman, you must understand she comes with standards.
Don't try to fool her with the silly words that love is blind, you had no saying against destiny, you were meant to be together. Nah! You deliberately chose her as the prey of your love. You could have gone your way, free and voracious, since the moment you discovered she has a history that will haunt her forever.
But you loved the feeling of being seduced by her mysterious eyes, her smile with the power to open portals to other dimensions. You knew she had luggage to deal with and still, her fire meant the world to you.
This beautiful woman, almost a goddess, comes from a relationship where she was hurt, humiliated, dismissed. She comes broken. And she will always be.
A divorced woman hardly ever forgets, and you must understand and accept it. She's been torn. Her feelings used to wipe the worst of muds. She was ignored, mocked, taken as a joke.
A divorced woman is honest. Beyond blaming herself for this, she feels blessed for her impossibility to forget. If it wasn't that way, she would still be unhappily married and you'll need no advice today but to fly to other horizons far away from her.
Dating a divorced woman is a beautiful risk. She's eager to do even the unthinkable for you, but only if you deserve it. She will never have a no for you if you work hard for a yes. This woman has learned life's worst playing skills and she'll use all her weapons to prevent falling into pain and deceits again.
A divorced woman is a mistress of seduction. She knows techniques. She has some tricks. She'll do everything you dream of and then some more. She knows how to play with fire. She knows when to bring the ice. This lady has no fear of becoming the center of your storm. So skilled she is, you'll be addicted. She'll be so desired like a drug.
But not always she'll be paradise like a Parisian flower garden. Not always she'll be sweet as a candy shop. She'll be a turmoil. She'll be anguish and affliction.
Don't let her freedom fool you. She's not a sweet angel anymore. She's aware she's not well accepted by society now that she's divorced. Never a victim of daddy issues, a divorced woman stopped dreaming of perfection, mansions in Fiji, and blankets of Egyptian cotton a long time ago. She quitted wishing to enjoy vacations or throwing fancy parties, but she never surrendered the desire to live every day like a special occasion.
There would be days when she'll be sad and other days she'll be radiant. There would be times when something you say will unintentionally harm her. With or without intention, she expects you to do something to fix it. She expects you to be proactive, to give the first step. She hopes you fix the "mirror" you accidentally tripped over with your words, leaving it off balance and about to break. Again.
Not a big fan of I'm sorry, she couldn't care less about your excuses and your reasons; that... she had plenty of those for so long. She needs it to feel right, and she knows words take little to no effort, so she prefers to be deaf and only focus her attention on actions and feelings.
A divorced woman is full of forgiveness, but she can be very unforgiving as well. Tired of not being taken seriously, a divorced woman will keep in her heart your details and slips. She'll remember your nervous face when you proposed, but will also remember your stone-cold heart when you told her to stop reclaiming you for deliberately deciding not to celebrate a special day.
Don't blame her. Before you, there was a dumb man who tried to crush her soul. A man who was so tired of her independence that mocked her attempts. Before you, she devoted her life to someone who didn't take into consideration her feelings. She gave her everything to someone who felt so comfortable with her taking care of everything that disregarded her emotions and feeling. Someone who didn't find a reason for her laughs or her tears.
This majestic lady got even more beautiful after divorcing. Her body and her soul radiate a special light. She was so brave to welcome herself back to life. She was resurrected from her emotional death.
She will learn from you from the first moment. She'll be watching, observing, absorbing, because once she trusted too much and observed too little. She'll learn from you, and either you'll enjoy it or be the victim of your own mastery skills.
A divorced woman will hold close to her heart all the times she stood awake, crying for something you said. She'll learn if you care or if you go to sleep as if everything was fine. If you validate her feelings, she'll be persistent to validate yours. If you expect that her broken heart fixes on its own, without you doing your part, she'll remember that too.
She'll look at herself in the mirror the next morning, remembering your loud snores while the black bulging circles under her eyes reveal that she slept too little but cried too much.
She'll try to punish herself for being this way. She'll try to recall your sweet messages and she'll blame herself because you have -in fact- a good heart. But she'll also remember why she cried all night. She'll punish herself with the sorrow of another special date that passed by without being celebrated. Your capacity for being 50% great and 50% so emotionally detached will be a big burden to her.
If you think dating a divorced woman is like going to the movies, think it twice. She'll be eager to forgive and forget, but there's a price to pay. A divorced woman will never be bent again. She'll forgive. She'll forget. But you'll be among the things that need to go, that need to change.
She'll be broken again, but she's not afraid. She's been there. She's been treated as unimportant. But she's also being alone. She has lived it all. She's solid as a rock.
If there's something a divorced woman fears the most, is to relive over and over the same relationship, the same heartbreak, the same suffering, the same negligence, with a different man.
If she's forced to choose, she'll choose. She has experience bringing herself back together and is not afraid to be just with her own company.
See, you need to go prepared. If she gives you the opportunity of a nice life together, don't be so dumb to waste it. Don't go thinking she's naive and innocent and will love you no matter how shitty you can come to be.
No. She experienced pain once but also experienced freedom. She's this powerful phoenix that decided to stay on her nest because you wanted to be by her side. Don't fool yourself into believing she'll die without you. She thought that once, but she lived to tell the tale. That loneliness made her stronger. In that silence and solitude, she truly discovered herself. While she was all alone, she survived the greatest of tests: She accepted herself. She chose her. She prioritized herself. And that self-love led her to you.
If you decide to date a divorced woman, you'll need a first aid kit with lots of reassuring words, because from time to time she will need them, lots of them.
You'll need firm feet because you'll have to get into her shoes to understand her. Don't think you'll babble some words and she'll be drooling all over you. A divorced woman knows the difference between a loving man and a flunkey man.
You'll need a soft heart to take her in and love her even when she feels she has no love left to give. When her world feels crumbling and she cannot find her way to love herself, she'll need someone who loves her without reclaiming her anger or her tears.
You'll definitely need strong arms to shelter her in a warm hug while she cries. To give her warmth when her heart is frozen. To melt the winter storming inside of her and make her bloom like a windy Spring.
You'll need tons of ideas. Don't think that a divorced woman is so easy to satisfy or please. You'll need to be creative, especially if you acted as a shitty person. There's not one good action that will work magic to help her smile again every single time. You'll need a full repertoire of fresh ideas to make her eyes shine again.
Most of all, you'll need a supply of never-ending patience to soothe her after a fight, to stay awake with her beyond midnight trying to make her comprehend it was just a misunderstanding between both.
Know something; she can be broken, oh but how beautiful are those pieces of her!
She can be a beautiful mess. She can be so strong. But her heart and her soul are both fragile because of misuse.
If you think you have all that, she's ready with all she has to give. If you're not prepared for the challenge that she represents, keep walking until finding your new love in a most innocent and naive young woman. Those may still be so desperate for a little bit of love and will probably bend their will for you. Until she has enough of your neglect, and she -too- becomes a beautiful divorced woman.
Lots of love,
.....Mother's day ideas
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