Slut-Shaming. What's the problem with some women? Here's a woman asking...

#femalewar #femalejealousy #feministsagainstwomen #trashtalkers #workyourmarriage #myphotos #misogyny #internalizedsexism #slutshaming


Recently, I ordered a DIY boudoir photo book at my preferred photo store. I always ALWAYS print (used to print... after this experience) all my photos, canvas, photo books, collages... there! ALWAYS. To avoid my photos hanging out exposed at the store for long, I chose the 1-hour service. But I always do that too!


This time, it was a very different story. As I completed my order online, everything went smoothly. As usual. But the 1-hour promise was not fulfilled. Instead, my order remained pending and delayed. Four or five hours later, I received an email signed by a female employee (not a manager) letting me know that my work was pending because they run out of materials, but she offered to have it ready two days later. She even went as far as offering me an extra discount on my order.


I thought she was too kind letting me know the store has a shortage of photopapers and hardcovers and two days was nothing.



Also, I thought (so dumb of me to think this way, you'll see) as my work was handled by another lady, she would understand it, and be discreet with my pictures. I assumed the store and the employees are supposed to ensure and protect my privacy. If it was me working at a photo lab, I wouldn't be browsing around 100 pictures to see what I could find. That's just weird, you know. My pictures were sexy and suggestive but not exposing anything actually. They were very sexy but tasteful and classy!


I wondered: Are you browsing all my pictures because you're lacking memories or because you're just a psycho person?



People are trusting those stores with their most private, intimate, or emotional memories, because of discretion and because it's easy to have the job done in a beautiful PROFESSIONAL manner, in a quick time and a little intrusive way.


I emailed her back saying thanks, two days was fine for me, and that was all. I was just excited to see my hubby's face when opening his sexy gift!


Fast forward 24 hours and I receive another email signed by another female employee from the same store. That was becoming a very awkward thing. Well, yes indeed. This time, this second female was letting me know that my photo order violated the store's policy and it was canceled.


How my work goes from being a "pending" order to a "canceled" order that violated their policies? Were these ladies in need of another female who would support their personal opinion to ban my pictures? And why on Earth were they checking my 100+ photos? If I complain about the quality of the images, they will nicely say that's the customer's responsibility, because they don't check those orders to ensure quality. That's a freaking great question.



Ouch! First of all, how on earth a second (or perhaps more) employee have a look at my work when there are no materials to print? How another female email me- to my personal email instead of the store's communication system, to tell me my work violates their policies? The first female didn't consider this or she was just waiting to gather all her girlfriends to mess with my pictures and then complain about it? I bet a guy wouldn't make a scandal with another guy's sexy photos.


What's wrong with women these days? How is possible that -while most of us empower ladies, encourage women to be their best selves, to run the world, to own their pleasures, to speak up, to expect to receive what they truly deserve, to hustle, to win... Others are just sitting, nagging, looking at their fake manicures while they wait to see another lady tripping, trying, just to trash-talk her?


Of course, by acting that way women will never be the dominant sex on the faze of the Earth. With that attitude of despicability against ourselves, we women will never be equal to men. Is very rare to see a man giving his peers away. Is almost an alien thing to hear a man revealing his friend's bad decisions, or just talking crap of him because of jealousy. No. Men are so different. They don't feel the need to agree with other men, but still, they honor their "manly code" and remain silent for the prosperity of their gender. Even when they disagree.


Pardon me for this. I'm a freaking feminist and I enjoy empowering women to be beasts in what they love! But my fight is not against men as other feminists think they do, my fight is against a society that's being run by women who don't want to see other ladies succeeding. My war is not completely against men, my war is against ladies who do nothing to be better, who are conformists with the little they achieve, who wait to put the blame of the failures into another women's shoulders.


But... Am I just acting like a bitch by complaining about this? Am I just overreacting because I didn't get what I wanted? Were they right this whole time and my boudoir just went too far? I made a little experiment to confirm if I was been bitchy or female-shammed.



Just to confirm if my photos really violated the company policies, I took the exact same work and changed its printing preferences. Instead of picking it up in-store, I chose it to be mailed to my home address.


24 hours later... Curious how my boudoir book is already in the mail, and probably will be here -in my hands- tomorrow night. The same company, the same policies. People printing, cutting, and binding it. No complaints. What would be the difference between the girls at my former preferred store and these online workers?


Probably their levels of happiness and satisfaction in their personal lives? Perhaps their self-esteem levels?


For now, I can only see these women so mad at me trying to make a sexy gift, and I cannot stop to question why.


I can probably understand how scorned they could feel knowing every husband is waiting for his woman to be proactive in their marriage, to take action, to do what needs to be done. Probably, they are blaming their husbands for recurring to porn with such frequency, but have they ask themselves, "are you acting like your husband's personal porn star, or are you just blaming the entire human race because you're just not involved enough in making your relationship work"?


I wonder why some women blame those that work hard for their marriages? Why doing all sorts of things to please your husband is considered by some women as denigrating themself?


Is investing in your relationship such a bad thing that other ladies get mad at your efforts? Are they so disinterested in their love relationship that believes they should mock happy women?


I think they are taking their husbands for granted every day. Meanwhile, their husbands are praising women who give that little extra for them.


I don't want to be taken as a despicable person for this. I'm just a victim of my equals who are clearly upset by my "wifey" efforts.



Have you been a victim of slut-shamming?


Lots of love,

Nydia

Empowered Curvy



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