I was browsing Google when I randomly saw this post:
MY SON'S GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T TAKE THE HINT THAT I HATE HER
Immediately, it hurt close to home and my heart ached. Before going to that story, let me share an image with the original "publication".
(This is the link where you can read the original post I'm talking about.)
As you can read in the passage, this "story" is written by the mother-in-law looking for a new way to get rid of his son's girlfriend.
Reading this was appalling! Because I can definitely relate with the counterpart of the story: the hated daughter-in-law.
I cannot help but wonder what has this young woman done to this scorned mom to deserve all her hatred. As I read and read again, this time trying to leave all my pain away, I notice that this mom is been honest the whole time. Vividly, she states that with her son leaving she'll have to sell the house and change her current lifestyle... one that -clearly- she cannot afford on her own because the son pays an undisclosed part of it all.
After that one and only reason, she just spills her bad deeds against his son's other half.
This reading forced me to wonder... what I did wrong?
For many years, I've been questioning myself what did I do to be that hated, unwelcomed girl. For years, I have punished myself for not being the girlfriend that was received with arms wide open.
Despite having been a very polite and welcoming person, who opened my heart and my home to these people, I was always the one that was left behind.
It was so heartbreaking. They would plan trips on very short to no notice because it would be hard for me to just fix my schedule. It was a common thing to do against me. But every plan needed to be re-adjusted if the other daughter-in-law couldn't go. She needed to be there. (And she was just a deceitful and a mean person with them.)
I have a strong will and I'm firm to my truth. I am not the kind of person that would bend her principles to be on the good grace of mean people. Being a woman that defends equality is something that -I thought made me unwelcomed there. I always thought that being a woman who wouldn't laugh at macho oppression was the main reason that made me so despised.
Eventually, I understood I wasn't the problem. They needed that type of control over their relative and I just interfered in between their well-designed plans.
I was the one who was taking away some sort of economical freedom, and also the one they couldn't control.
The problem wasn't me. The problem was their inability to understand that their son was meant to fall in love, make a family on his own, grow!
I'll always be the hated, unwelcomed woman and I am fine with it. That doesn't mean I'm willing to live by their rules. And of course, doesn't mean I'm gonna just stick around waiting for a change of heart. I have a life to live. So much love to give. And I'm not in the mood to leave everything because I'm a hated person.
So, I can perfectly feel in flesh and bones this family problem. I can certainly understand the mother-in-law's fears of changes. Her lack of desire to relinquish a little to receive so much more. She cannot see the huge smile on her son's face. His satisfaction every day. She clearly cannot understand how is she depriving herself of watching the little babies growing and being part of their family.
Is such a terrible thing what she is doing. The damage she is causing to her son will be so painful that the aftermath will last forever.
From the bottom of my heart, I just wish that this woman will seat alone in her silence and first of all analyze herself. Her son is still there by her side, so there's still some kind of hope for her. Once he crosses the threshold... chances are gone.
Lots of love,