"She's always dressing so sexy..."
"Your booty is impossible not to look at... It's always there..."
Dang! Sure it's always there! A curvy girl's booty is not like Taylor Swift's. I cannot use it for galas only. It is with me every second of the way. But thanks for noticing!
Wait? Was that a compliment? Was that a sore attempt of body shaming?
"You're always trying to be so sexy?"
Why is that? Because I cannot detach my derriere and leave it hanging in the closet depending on who am I meeting with? Because I cannot wear one shapewear that shrinks the booty just like those that shrinks the waist?
My most sarcastic apologies if my booty offended you, but the only shapewear I can find is the one that enhances my already naturally enhanced big fat butt!
Have you heard this? Are you the "forever sexy" creature? Are you that woman who is seen as the one "who is always TRYING SO HARD to be sexy" just because you got some nice curves perfectly accommodated in that hot bod' of yours?
I get it!
I know how you feel. I don't wake every morning telling myself how sexy I must try to look. In fact, there are times when I decide to go with a high neck dress long enough that reaches my knee cap. Just to NOT be sexy.
And still, I get the "she's always dressing so sexy" phrase.
You know... Curvy girls deal with issues every day and NO we don't choose to look "sexy" every single second. So, let's talk about 22 things Curvy Girls deal with:
ISSUES THAT CURVY GIRLS HAVE TO DEAL WITH AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES:
Lycra is our ally
Only a curvy girl will understand that our clothes NEED to be made with a nice amount of Lycra because there's no way in this universe that we can fit all our good stuff in non-stretchy clothes. It's simply impossible. (Well, not impossible, but none of us want to look misshapen and weird.)
Buying jeans suck
If you're a curvy girl with a nice amount of curves in that booty, you know that buying jeans that fit perfectly is a terrible endeavor. Most jeans that fit our booty, will be super wide in our waists. So, buying jeans is as hard as finding the right husband.
Buying cheap stretchy jeans is a terribly bad idea
Unless you don't mind them stretching so much that you end up looking like wearing a diaper with a saggy butt.
Buying great jeans is expensive
When we are jeans shopping, we discover that jeans for curvy girls are not a cheap thing to find. We cannot buy jeans everywhere for $35 to $50 dollars. And we cannot buy any type of jeans, but Brazilian butt jeans! My favorite jeans that fit perfectly in my booty and also hug my waist cost over $70. BUT THEY ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY! (These are my very favorite and they are on sale right now!!)
Buying everything is more expensive than buying a size 2.
And I'm not talking Plus size here. I'm talking about all types of curvy bodies. Jeans, dresses and blouses to cover our big boobs without looking trashy. Everything "designed" for bodies with curves is more expensive. We can certainly wear normal store sizes, but don't complain when your boy looks at all these goods!
Buying online is risky
A lot of online stores may accept a return, but you'll end up paying more shipping $$ for it, so it's your loss. When we buy online, we risk receiving an item that's usually our everyday size but that runs so small or so big that is impossible to wear. Which leads to...
Curvy girls need some sort of sewing/fixing techniques
Believe me, it's not easy and glamorous as you may see in magazines. Curvy girls need to learn how to manipulate their clothes, so we need to master the needle and thread.
Everyday clothes look like we are trying to be the gym beast
Our everyday clothes are leggings, jeggings, or "exercise" clothes because those are super comfy. Not because we are working out all day long or want to show your husband our nice-fitting butt-crack scrunch lycra legging.
Cute shorts are not that cute
Summer season is back and we are ready to forget our long jeans for a while but cute shorts are weirdly not that cute but butt revealing. We can always buy short jeans that touch the knee but those are not that cute either. It's not nice to go everywhere wearing "Daisy Duke" shorts. In most places, showing half our butt-cheeks is considered inappropriate.
We must think it twice before buying blouses with messages
As we all know, messages in shirts are nicely placed in the chest area for a reason. But when you're very endowed there, a shirt with words can have one of two effects: weird-looking undistinctive message, or excessive attention to your boob area. Or both things.
Strapless bra. WTF????
The worst idea I once had was to wear a strapless bra. There's no strapless bra in the entire galaxy with the capacity to hold in place some biiiiigg boobs, so... yeah, that makes strapless dresses and halter outfits a failure. But if you think that's the worst that could happen... This terrible idea was followed by:
Boob tape...Think it twice. Super WTF!!!
Pre-cut, pre-shaped, or roll tape... All those things are the biggest money thrown straight to the toilet. If I have saved all those big bucks during my 37 years, I would have been able to pay a boob job to make them perkier, stiffer, and standing in attention like a soldier in front of a battalion. But instead, I fell for the stupidest things like boob tape, to then spend more $$$ in healing creams because my boobs ended up chaffed, sore and their delicate skin tore.
Compliment vs. body shame
There are days that I really don't know if the phrase "You always dress so sexy" is a compliment or an attempt at body shame. I know there are lots of women who love to empower others. But there's also this percentage who feels threatened and those kinds of comments are just intended to tell us we need to hide our curves.
How the hell do you plan me to do that?
Bodycon dresses are lovely but too short
Women with "normal" sizes (if there's such a thing as normal when talking about body shapes, which I doubt) can wear a bodycon dress with no problem. Curvy girls must consider the length factor before buying. One big booty will result in shorter dresses so... have that in mind.
Color clothes? Are you sure? (That's what they say!)
People expect you to always wear black clothes because your body will be better camouflaged with them. Surprise, surprise! Let me tell you a sad fact that these people need to understand: black clothes can dissimulate some love handles and cellulite - and I adore my black clothes for this! But you know what black clothes don't do? THEY DON'T HIDE CURVES! Au contraire! Black clothes make our sexy curves look even more attractive and arousing. Just so you know!
We have heard the worst pick-up lines.
At the mall, work, school, and even at doctor's offices, we find the weirdest people with the weirdest flirting words. Sadly, we meet the people with the poorest creativity in the entire universe. But answer them with an evil sentence and you'll be a spoiled, bitchy brat who thinks extremely high of herself.
"You're not that hot..." -They'll say back.
"Now I'm not? Prick!"
We avoid that guy who compliments our body first.
A curvy girl will never fall for the guy whose first "compliment" is about her big booty, her super round boobs, or how tiny her waist is compared to her hourglass body shape. Sorry, guys! That's the truth! We are more than just a piece of a body. The body will change. We know it! We have experienced lots and lots of changes in that "sexy" body to know it will not last forever. We want to be loved by who we truly are. Marvelous women, smart, funny, clever, multitasking, intellectual, overachievers, with the prettiest smile and the shiniest eyes. Those things will be with us till the last day.
We consider flipping at those men and compliment their tiny "equipment"
Sure, why not? If men feel at the liberty of giving us creepy "compliments" that are offensive and sexist, why we must restrain from talking about their tiny manly tools?
"Hey, hunk! That thing is so tiny I could use it as a toothpick!"
Too much too soon? Or poetic justice?
But that's just rude, isn't it?
Sorry, guys, if I just offended your petite hors d'oeuvre!
We don't have lots of friends.
We feel too exposed when we are with people, and going shopping with girls who don't understand our body issues is painful. Also, not every other woman feels the desire to welcome the lady with the big booty without being judgemental. This is mostly because insecure women will always try to bring us down because they think we are over-confident (Which we aren't). But also:
We have little friends because... Curvy girls also have self-esteem issues.
Just like the rest of the world, we are extremely self-conscious. We worry too much about what people may say or think about us. Since we are little girls, our moms are trying to make us wear oversized clothes to hide from the world. They are so afraid to deal with nasty men's comments, that they solve the problem by (unconsciously) body-shaming their little girls themselves. Thanks, moms! (Sad face here... 💩)
Despite you may think we "look" super sexy, we may feel otherwise.
A curvy woman will worry more than needed because she doesn't want to give a wrong impression to people, but as I told you before, there are things we cannot simply detach from our bodies to fit people's standards.
Other curvy girls will be happy with the whole package. And someday, we all will be!
To achieve this, we must work a lot on self-love and acceptance. Curvy girls learn to love their bodies and make the most of them. Their body, their temple! And one glorious day, we will wake up knowing people's opinions about our bodies mean nothing but their own self-esteem issues projected on us.
And that beautiful day, self-love will hit us hard and we'll be proud of ourselves. The whole package.
The truth is... there's no way to avoid these situations, so we just have to embrace our body as everybody else. We need to learn to be confident in our own skin. Slay the world and conquer whatever we want! Because curvy girls aren't bodies, we are glorious minds and fiercest hearts.